Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I grieve because...

I miss her so much.

I love her so much.

Everyday, I ask God to tell her that I love her, and to give her a kiss for me.

It's the neverness that is so painful -

Never again to be here with us.
Never again to carry her.
Never again to hold her.
Never again to kiss her.
Never again to feed her.
Never again to see her smile.
Never again to hear her cry.
Never again to sing to her.
Never again to play with her.
Never again to see Jordan playing with her.
Never to see her first crawl.
Never to see her taking her first step to walk.
Never to hear her calling me, "Mummy".
Never to dress her up.
Never to tie her hair.
Never ...

2 comments:

alhuie said...

Hi Aunty Christine,

I don't know whether I'm in a position to use my experiences to share with you. Hopefully it'll help...

I had a thousand and one never's in my mind 2 plus year ago, and still have them. It hurt alot, still hurts at times. But God knows what you don't even know, and what you don't seem to tell, and he'll relieve that pain.

In His own ways...He knows what will comfort you the best. For me, in a way was His gift of dreams to me. Speaking of which, I just dreamt of my mum last night.

Sorry if it makes it worse, but I really hope this helps.

Love,
Hui En

DrCabokia said...

Dear Hui En,

You are one of the most 'qualified' persons to share your experiences with me. I really appreciate it.

The pain and hurt is indescribable. I just miss her so much. Your dad shared that we grieve more because we love more. I just have to let her go. Jem belongs to God not me. I still feel angry and bitter - probably less intense now.

I am still waiting to see Jem in my dreams.


Love,
Aunty Christine.

ps. We received your card last week. Thank you.