Seng Chor and I picked Jordan at around 7 pm yesterday. Then, we went to 1 Utama for dinner and some shopping. Jordan had some of my Mee Mamak. He enjoyed it. He was also getting friendly with some guys and a gal sitting behind us. Next, he had two rides with Barney and friends. He loved that too. Finally, we shopped for some groceries at Jusco. Towards the end, he was unmanageable. It was a bit embarrassing because he was crying non-stop. I felt people staring us, probably wondering whether we had tortured our son or not. One lady said that he must be sleepy. Yeah, that’s our deduction too – he was feeling sleepy. He cried almost all the way to the car. He fell asleep on the car seat as we were going home.
Upon reaching home, Seng Chor wiped and changed him – wiped his face, hands and legs. He was still sleeping. Then, we woke him up to drink his milk. After his milk, he turned hyper active. So, Seng Chor said, “Let’s take him out for a ride.” We traveled to Kota Damansara, and headed for the Subang Airport. Unfortunately, Jordan didn’t fall asleep. Ha! Ha! Ha! The old trick has failed. Seng Chor tried to get him to sleep again, but he ended up scolding him loudly. Poor Jordan! I think he was traumatized – his Daddy, whom he kissed so many times that morning, was angry with him. He cried for about 5 to 10 minutes. I tried to pacify him by singing and carrying him. Both didn’t work. He cried until he became too tired and fell asleep.
Confession time – I screamed at him and smacked his buttocks on Wednesday night. He didn’t want to sleep, and yet at the same time he refused to let me sleep. He snatched my pillow, and cried whenever I didn’t allow him to play. Surprisingly, as I lied down after the screaming and smacking episodes, he came towards me and kissed me. Wow! I didn’t scream at him anymore. He has tamed me with that sudden kiss. Eventually, we both fell asleep. He certainly knows how to soften your heart.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Quote of the Month (June)
“...better than his father.”
Kckk
(on Jordan’s ‘singing’ at Antioch Centre, Sunday 17 June 2007)
Kckk
(on Jordan’s ‘singing’ at Antioch Centre, Sunday 17 June 2007)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Midnight Ride
Last night was a tough night for Seng Chor and me. We picked Jordan very late – about 9:30 pm after Seng Chor’s badminton. We arrived home almost 10 pm. For no apparent reason, Jordan kept on crying as I was trying to wipe and change him. He cried until I stuffed the milk bottle into his mouth. After drinking 7 oz his milk, he didn’t want to sleep. He wouldn’t let me sleep either – whining and crying on and off. About half an hour later, I turned on the Nursery Rhymes VCD for him to watch. He watched quietly until almost to the end. He still refused to sleep. When I didn’t allow him to play, he cried non-stop. Finally, Seng Chor and I took him out for a ride. He fell asleep within few minutes.
This morning, he woke up at 4 am, crying for milk! He finished his milk fast, and cried suddenly. Seng Chor pacified him until he fell asleep again.
This odd behaviour happens occasionally. We are still very much puzzled by Jordan’s behaviour. What we struggle most at this moment, is trying to get him to sleep. Sometimes perfect, sometimes horrendous.
Well, look at the bright side…there were wonderful moments with Jordan.
Here are some of the recent ones…
Occasionally, he pats our back when we carry him. What a nice feeling!
His kisses are so addictive. One is never enough. The best is to get a surprise kiss from him. Oooohhh, it just melts my heart away. It’s funny that he wants to kiss the lips, and not the cheeks. We turn our cheeks to him, but he goes for the lips.
Jordan suddenly said, “Dog” himself, followed by “Wow-wow”. He repeated few times. Normally, we say, “Dog”, and he says, “Wow-wow”.
(Monday, 25 June 2007)
He is still calling, “Daddy” most of the time. Sometimes, when he knows that Seng Chor is in the bathroom, he would knock at the door and call, “Daddy” in his sweet and irresistible voice.
Nowadays, he obediently takes his dirty clothes and throws them into the laundry basket.
He holds his milk bottle more steadily.
He can walk up and down the stairs with support. Previously, he crawled up.
There is still so much to teach our boy...every tiny little achievement of his, is our pride and joy.
This morning, he woke up at 4 am, crying for milk! He finished his milk fast, and cried suddenly. Seng Chor pacified him until he fell asleep again.
This odd behaviour happens occasionally. We are still very much puzzled by Jordan’s behaviour. What we struggle most at this moment, is trying to get him to sleep. Sometimes perfect, sometimes horrendous.
Well, look at the bright side…there were wonderful moments with Jordan.
Here are some of the recent ones…
Occasionally, he pats our back when we carry him. What a nice feeling!
His kisses are so addictive. One is never enough. The best is to get a surprise kiss from him. Oooohhh, it just melts my heart away. It’s funny that he wants to kiss the lips, and not the cheeks. We turn our cheeks to him, but he goes for the lips.
Jordan suddenly said, “Dog” himself, followed by “Wow-wow”. He repeated few times. Normally, we say, “Dog”, and he says, “Wow-wow”.
(Monday, 25 June 2007)
He is still calling, “Daddy” most of the time. Sometimes, when he knows that Seng Chor is in the bathroom, he would knock at the door and call, “Daddy” in his sweet and irresistible voice.
Nowadays, he obediently takes his dirty clothes and throws them into the laundry basket.
He holds his milk bottle more steadily.
He can walk up and down the stairs with support. Previously, he crawled up.
There is still so much to teach our boy...every tiny little achievement of his, is our pride and joy.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
The Art of Parenting
By Dr. James Dobson
There is hardly a parent alive who does not have some regrets and painful memories of their failures as a mother or a father. Children are infinitely complex, and we can no more be perfect parents than we can be perfect human beings. The pressures of living are often enormous. We get tired and irritated; we are influenced by our physical bodies and our emotions, which sometimes prevent us from saying the right things and being the models we should be. We do not always handle our children as unemotionally as we wish we had, and it is very common to look back a year or two later and see how wrong we were in the way we approached a problem.
Fortunately we are permitted to make some mistakes with our children. They are resilient, and they usually survive most of our errors in judgment. It is a good thing they do, because none of us can be a perfect parent. Besides, it is not the occasional mistakes that hurt a child – it is the consistent influence of destructive conditions throughout childhood that does the damage.
All of us experience these failures! No one does the job perfectly! Even if you implement a flawless system of parenting, (which no one in history has done), your children will still be children. At times they will be silly, lazy, selfish, and yes, disrespectful. Such is the nature of the human species. We as adults have the same weaknesses.
Furthermore, when it comes to children, that is how it should be. Boys and girls are like clocks; you have to let them run. The point and purpose of parental discipline is not to produce obedient little robots who can sit with their hands folded in the parlor thinking patriotic and noble thoughts! Even if we could pull that off, it would not be wise to try.
You can teach new attitudes and modify some behavioral patterns, but you will not be able to redesign the basic personality with which your child was born with. Some characteristics are genetically programmed, and they will always be there. For example, some children appear to be born leaders, and others seem to be made to follow. One of your most astounding experiences as a parent is to watch a distinct personality emerge in each of your children. As they mature, traits that make them individuals become increasingly apparent. It is part of God’s plan for who they will become.
My advice to you is to accept, appreciate, and cultivate the personality with which your little child is born. He or she does not need to fit a preconceived mold. That youngster is, thankfully, one of a kind.
Are there times when good, loving parents do not like their own children very much? Yes, just as there are times in a good marriages when husbands and wives do not like each other for a while.
What you should do in both situations is hang tough. Look for ways to make the relationship better, but never give up your commitment to one another. That is especially true during the teen years, when the person we see will be very different in a few years. Wait patiently for him or her to grow up. You will be glad you did.
Let me give you what I consider to be the key to good parenting. It is to learn how to get behind the eyes of your child, seeing what he sees and feeling what he feels. When you know his frame of mind, your response becomes obvious. For example, when he is lonely, he needs your company. When he is defiant, he needs your help in controlling his impulses. When he is afraid, he needs the security of your embrace. When he is happy, he needs to share his laughter and joy with those he loves. Raising healthy children, then, is not so much a science as it is a highly developed art, and most of us have the natural intuitive faculties to learn it.
Take the time to observe those children who live in your house. If you tune in closely to what they say and do, the feelings behind those behaviors will soon become apparent. Then your reaction to what you have seen will lead to more confident parenthood.
You cannot buy your way out of parenting responsibilities, though many have tried. Busy and exhausted mothers and fathers, especially those who are affluent, sometimes attempt to “pay off” their deprived kids with toys, cars and expensive experiences. It rarely works. What boys and girls want most is time spent with their parents – building things in the garden or singing in the car or cycling in a part.
Many families have forgotten how to have fun in everyday experiences. The things they do together can become hallmarks of their years together. No toy to be played with alone can ever compete with the enjoyment of such moment. And they will be remembered for a lifetime.
The task of procreation was never intended to be so burdensome. Of course it is demanding. And children are challenging, to be sure. But the guilt and self-doubt that often encumber the parenting responsibility are not part of the divine plan. And today, it remains one of the greatest privileges in living to bring a baby into the world to love and care for. What a wonderful opportunity it is to teach these little ones to revere God with all their hearts and to serve others throughout their lives. There is no higher calling than that!
(Published in the focus on the family Malaysia 2007 newsletter, Issue 7)
--------------------------------------------------------
This article has encouraged me much. Hope that parents / parents-to-be will be blessed too.
There is hardly a parent alive who does not have some regrets and painful memories of their failures as a mother or a father. Children are infinitely complex, and we can no more be perfect parents than we can be perfect human beings. The pressures of living are often enormous. We get tired and irritated; we are influenced by our physical bodies and our emotions, which sometimes prevent us from saying the right things and being the models we should be. We do not always handle our children as unemotionally as we wish we had, and it is very common to look back a year or two later and see how wrong we were in the way we approached a problem.
Fortunately we are permitted to make some mistakes with our children. They are resilient, and they usually survive most of our errors in judgment. It is a good thing they do, because none of us can be a perfect parent. Besides, it is not the occasional mistakes that hurt a child – it is the consistent influence of destructive conditions throughout childhood that does the damage.
All of us experience these failures! No one does the job perfectly! Even if you implement a flawless system of parenting, (which no one in history has done), your children will still be children. At times they will be silly, lazy, selfish, and yes, disrespectful. Such is the nature of the human species. We as adults have the same weaknesses.
Furthermore, when it comes to children, that is how it should be. Boys and girls are like clocks; you have to let them run. The point and purpose of parental discipline is not to produce obedient little robots who can sit with their hands folded in the parlor thinking patriotic and noble thoughts! Even if we could pull that off, it would not be wise to try.
You can teach new attitudes and modify some behavioral patterns, but you will not be able to redesign the basic personality with which your child was born with. Some characteristics are genetically programmed, and they will always be there. For example, some children appear to be born leaders, and others seem to be made to follow. One of your most astounding experiences as a parent is to watch a distinct personality emerge in each of your children. As they mature, traits that make them individuals become increasingly apparent. It is part of God’s plan for who they will become.
My advice to you is to accept, appreciate, and cultivate the personality with which your little child is born. He or she does not need to fit a preconceived mold. That youngster is, thankfully, one of a kind.
Are there times when good, loving parents do not like their own children very much? Yes, just as there are times in a good marriages when husbands and wives do not like each other for a while.
What you should do in both situations is hang tough. Look for ways to make the relationship better, but never give up your commitment to one another. That is especially true during the teen years, when the person we see will be very different in a few years. Wait patiently for him or her to grow up. You will be glad you did.
Let me give you what I consider to be the key to good parenting. It is to learn how to get behind the eyes of your child, seeing what he sees and feeling what he feels. When you know his frame of mind, your response becomes obvious. For example, when he is lonely, he needs your company. When he is defiant, he needs your help in controlling his impulses. When he is afraid, he needs the security of your embrace. When he is happy, he needs to share his laughter and joy with those he loves. Raising healthy children, then, is not so much a science as it is a highly developed art, and most of us have the natural intuitive faculties to learn it.
Take the time to observe those children who live in your house. If you tune in closely to what they say and do, the feelings behind those behaviors will soon become apparent. Then your reaction to what you have seen will lead to more confident parenthood.
You cannot buy your way out of parenting responsibilities, though many have tried. Busy and exhausted mothers and fathers, especially those who are affluent, sometimes attempt to “pay off” their deprived kids with toys, cars and expensive experiences. It rarely works. What boys and girls want most is time spent with their parents – building things in the garden or singing in the car or cycling in a part.
Many families have forgotten how to have fun in everyday experiences. The things they do together can become hallmarks of their years together. No toy to be played with alone can ever compete with the enjoyment of such moment. And they will be remembered for a lifetime.
The task of procreation was never intended to be so burdensome. Of course it is demanding. And children are challenging, to be sure. But the guilt and self-doubt that often encumber the parenting responsibility are not part of the divine plan. And today, it remains one of the greatest privileges in living to bring a baby into the world to love and care for. What a wonderful opportunity it is to teach these little ones to revere God with all their hearts and to serve others throughout their lives. There is no higher calling than that!
(Published in the focus on the family Malaysia 2007 newsletter, Issue 7)
--------------------------------------------------------
This article has encouraged me much. Hope that parents / parents-to-be will be blessed too.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Late Nights
Jordan's sleeping time at night is extremely irregular - anytime from 9 pm to 3 am! He's simply superb! For the last 2 nights, he slept after midnight. Well, we have been trying to justify this odd behaviour with various reasons - he misses us, misses his toys, sleeps too much during the day, not feeling well, etc.
I had one theory but I was wrong. Initially, I thought that because we picked him up late from the babysitter, he wanted to stay up late to play. This hypothesis has been proven to be incorrect. We picked him up early on Tuesday, before 7 pm, he still slept late.
Well…like everyone said, “Hang in there”. I have the grace of God to go on…
I had one theory but I was wrong. Initially, I thought that because we picked him up late from the babysitter, he wanted to stay up late to play. This hypothesis has been proven to be incorrect. We picked him up early on Tuesday, before 7 pm, he still slept late.
Well…like everyone said, “Hang in there”. I have the grace of God to go on…
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Good Night
Thank God that Jordan is better. Less runny nose. Less coughing. He slept at around 10 pm last night. We didn't wake him up. Seng Chor carried him from the bed straight into the car seat.
I am feeling better too. Amidst all the struggles that I have gone through, I stand firm in my faith. My love and adoration for Jordan remain strong.
Whatever your cross
I am feeling better too. Amidst all the struggles that I have gone through, I stand firm in my faith. My love and adoration for Jordan remain strong.
YOUR CROSS
Whatever your cross
Whatever your pain
There will always be sunshine
After the rain
Perhaps you may stumble
Perhaps even fall
But God's always there
To help you through it all.
(Author unknown)
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
SAY IT NOW
SAY IT NOW
If you have a tender message
Or a loving word to say,
Don't wait till you forget it,
But whisper it today!
The tender words unspoken,
The letter never sent,
The long forgotten messages,
The wealth of love unspent.
For these some hearts are breaking,
For these some loved ones wait,
Then give them what they are needing,
Before it is too late!
If you have a tender message
Or a loving word to say,
Don't wait till you forget it,
But whisper it today!
The tender words unspoken,
The letter never sent,
The long forgotten messages,
The wealth of love unspent.
For these some hearts are breaking,
For these some loved ones wait,
Then give them what they are needing,
Before it is too late!
(Author unknown)
Disappointments, discouragement...
When I was asked to share something at the Ladies Discipleship Cell last Thursday, I really didn’t know what to share. I have even thought about it for the whole week. I felt that all I could offer at that time was disappointments and discouragement. There was no doubt that I was blessed by the ladies’ sharing on that day. But I just couldn’t express myself. I was blessed during the church camp, but I was also disappointed. I was physically tired during the church camp. Jordan was hyper active, and refused to sleep until after 12 midnight every night. I didn’t get to eat strawberry ice cream, which I wanted so badly. It was depressing to watch videos of people enjoying their ice cream at the strawberry farm, while I was confined within 4 walls with Jordan.
Actually, I have a list of disappointments and discouragement:
I spent the whole afternoon alone with Jordan last Sunday. He didn’t want to sleep. He was not feeling well too – runny nose and blocked nose. I was exhausted because he slept late again the night before. Occasionally, I lied on the bed, almost falling asleep but I didn’t dare because I was afraid that he might hurt himself. I think I screamed at him once. I was so tired. Eventually, he did fall asleep – about 1 hour. Seng Chor came back after 6 pm. We were supposed to celebrate Seng Chor’s birthday together with Rachelle and the rest of the GG members. Sadly, I decided not to go – it was probably a decision made out of anger. I needed a break from both of them. I know that even if I go, I would not be able to enjoy myself. I would be more frustrated. True enough, Seng Chor said that Jordan was hyper active, couldn’t really sit still.
Alone, I watched my Hong Kong series. For dinner, I had an apple, pear and rice dumpling. I tried to sleep at 9:30 pm, but couldn’t. They came home around 10:30 pm. Surprisingly, Jordan was still wide awake – not ready to sleep yet. Poor him! He had difficulty sleeping because of his blocked nose. He woke up once or twice crying, and I had to pacify him.
Last night, Seng Chor and I had to take him out for a ride. It was almost 12 midnight. Seng Chor drove all the way down to KL. Eventually, he fell asleep. We probably reached home around 1 am. Seng Chor carried him from the car seat into his cot – first time sleeping in his cot after about 4 months! He has been sleeping in between us. What’s going to happen tonight? Is he going to sleep early/late? I really don’t know. Thinking about it is stressful.
I have been viewing God as a Problem Solver, and because problems were not solved in my own time, I got frustrated with God and blamed Him for the struggles that I go through – especially when taking care of Jordan. I need to turn my frustration into prayer. I need joy.
I wanted God to stop Jordan from crying immediately. I wanted God to heal Jordan immediately and help him to sleep well at night. God doesn’t work that way. Probably God wants me to show more love and patience towards Jordan. God wants to mold me in that area. This pruning is tough. The test seems to get harder each time.
I do miss him – I want to give him hugs and kisses. I want to play with him and teach him. He is still my precious and adorable son. I want to enjoy my time with him. I need to rebuke all evil thoughts that I have of Jordan. I feel like a terrible mother.
Lord, please help me.
Lord, put into my heart whatever is most pleasing to You.
Actually, I have a list of disappointments and discouragement:
- Physically tired at the Church camp. Even felt frustrated.
- Didn’t get to eat strawberry ice cream in Cameron. Sad to see videos taken at the Strawberry Farm.
- Year 3 students did badly in my module.
- Poor attendance in the Dialogue session (students and KBU graduates) – first time organizing it for students.
- Seems to be just flowing to Parenting Discipleship Cell (PDC) and Ladies Discipleship Cell (LDC). Feels discouraged after PDC.
- Struggles with Jordan.
- Physically tired almost every day – lack of sleep.
- No second baby yet.
- (I’ll stop here. I think there is more).
I spent the whole afternoon alone with Jordan last Sunday. He didn’t want to sleep. He was not feeling well too – runny nose and blocked nose. I was exhausted because he slept late again the night before. Occasionally, I lied on the bed, almost falling asleep but I didn’t dare because I was afraid that he might hurt himself. I think I screamed at him once. I was so tired. Eventually, he did fall asleep – about 1 hour. Seng Chor came back after 6 pm. We were supposed to celebrate Seng Chor’s birthday together with Rachelle and the rest of the GG members. Sadly, I decided not to go – it was probably a decision made out of anger. I needed a break from both of them. I know that even if I go, I would not be able to enjoy myself. I would be more frustrated. True enough, Seng Chor said that Jordan was hyper active, couldn’t really sit still.
Alone, I watched my Hong Kong series. For dinner, I had an apple, pear and rice dumpling. I tried to sleep at 9:30 pm, but couldn’t. They came home around 10:30 pm. Surprisingly, Jordan was still wide awake – not ready to sleep yet. Poor him! He had difficulty sleeping because of his blocked nose. He woke up once or twice crying, and I had to pacify him.
Last night, Seng Chor and I had to take him out for a ride. It was almost 12 midnight. Seng Chor drove all the way down to KL. Eventually, he fell asleep. We probably reached home around 1 am. Seng Chor carried him from the car seat into his cot – first time sleeping in his cot after about 4 months! He has been sleeping in between us. What’s going to happen tonight? Is he going to sleep early/late? I really don’t know. Thinking about it is stressful.
I have been viewing God as a Problem Solver, and because problems were not solved in my own time, I got frustrated with God and blamed Him for the struggles that I go through – especially when taking care of Jordan. I need to turn my frustration into prayer. I need joy.
I wanted God to stop Jordan from crying immediately. I wanted God to heal Jordan immediately and help him to sleep well at night. God doesn’t work that way. Probably God wants me to show more love and patience towards Jordan. God wants to mold me in that area. This pruning is tough. The test seems to get harder each time.
I do miss him – I want to give him hugs and kisses. I want to play with him and teach him. He is still my precious and adorable son. I want to enjoy my time with him. I need to rebuke all evil thoughts that I have of Jordan. I feel like a terrible mother.
Lord, please help me.
Lord, put into my heart whatever is most pleasing to You.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Jordan says...
This dialogue took place at home on Seng Chor's birthday, after dinner at the The Ship...
Seng Chor said: Daddy
Jordan said: Daddy
Seng Chor said: Mama
Jordan said: Mama
Seng Chor said: Kung-kung
Jordan said: Kung-kung
Ming Yue said: Dog
Jordan said: Wow, wow!
All the adults burst out in laughter. Jordan replied, "Wow, wow!", whenever someone said, "Dog". It was really funny. Super amusing.
Seng Chor said: Daddy
Jordan said: Daddy
Seng Chor said: Mama
Jordan said: Mama
Seng Chor said: Kung-kung
Jordan said: Kung-kung
Ming Yue said: Dog
Jordan said: Wow, wow!
All the adults burst out in laughter. Jordan replied, "Wow, wow!", whenever someone said, "Dog". It was really funny. Super amusing.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Seng Chor's 35th Birthday
We celebrated Seng Chor's birthday on 3 June 2007 with family and friends.Thank God for His blessings upon Seng Chor.
Spidey, Pirates and Jordan
Seng Chor and I took time off from Jordan for the last 2 Wednesdays. He was at the babysitter for 3 days, 2 nights last week – Wednesday to Friday. So, Seng Chor and I watched Spiderman 3 at GSC. Last night, Jordan stayed overnight again at the babysitter while we watched Pirates of the Caribbean at GSC. I enjoyed both movies but missing Jordan at the same time.
Jordan’s sleeping patterns have been quite irregular lately. Sometimes he sleeps before 10:30 pm and sometimes after 12 midnight. It’s probably another milestone for him – he will be 18 months old next Thursday. One of the reasons why we left him at the babysitter last week – after our Cameron trip was to fatten him up and train him to sleep early. Yup, he did gain back a bit of weight, but his sleeping time is still odd. One day, he was fine, the next day was not. He was like hyper active and just refused to sleep. Tuesday night was the worst – he just kept on crying. He was also throwing his toys onto the floor. In the end, Seng Chor had to take him out for a ride. That was around 12 midnight.
He doesn’t behave like this at the babysitter. Over there, he is like a perfect baby – eat, sleep, play. He really knows who to bully. Hahaha! He will be back tonight. Hopefully, he has calmed down after a good day at the babysitter.
Of course, I prefer to have him at home every night. We just need to exercise more love – patient, gentleness. He misses us and we miss him too. He probably wants to spend more time with us rather than sleep. But we are tired and want to sleep. That’s why is can be so frustrating. It is not easy to discipline him. We are still learning…
Jordan’s sleeping patterns have been quite irregular lately. Sometimes he sleeps before 10:30 pm and sometimes after 12 midnight. It’s probably another milestone for him – he will be 18 months old next Thursday. One of the reasons why we left him at the babysitter last week – after our Cameron trip was to fatten him up and train him to sleep early. Yup, he did gain back a bit of weight, but his sleeping time is still odd. One day, he was fine, the next day was not. He was like hyper active and just refused to sleep. Tuesday night was the worst – he just kept on crying. He was also throwing his toys onto the floor. In the end, Seng Chor had to take him out for a ride. That was around 12 midnight.
He doesn’t behave like this at the babysitter. Over there, he is like a perfect baby – eat, sleep, play. He really knows who to bully. Hahaha! He will be back tonight. Hopefully, he has calmed down after a good day at the babysitter.
Of course, I prefer to have him at home every night. We just need to exercise more love – patient, gentleness. He misses us and we miss him too. He probably wants to spend more time with us rather than sleep. But we are tired and want to sleep. That’s why is can be so frustrating. It is not easy to discipline him. We are still learning…
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